Finding Productivity

Mind blank, you attempt to get something done. Today, you’ve done nothing that is considered productive. After spending the day wrapped in fictional character’s worlds by watching two movies, and reading two books, you try to fix the feeling of lack of productivity.

In this attempt, you find that your mind is blank and uncooperative to all of your methods. No matter, you figure, scrawling your piss poor excuse of a handwriting on a sheet of paper in attempt to make a schedule for the week, and the next few hours. You try art first, but all that comes onto the sheet is some roughly drawn creation that looks more like a doodle. Next, you try an educational point of view, where you go online to research something random. This way, you can feel as though learning something was the good thing about today. Still nothing after zoning out while reading the page for the fourth time, you try writing. After staring at the blank page as if staring at your own thoughts, you scowl and shove the papers away.

Eventually, as you pace the house in boredom, you realize something. Maybe you don’t need to be productive in the traditional do something of yourself way, but what if you reflected on the things you had learned from those books and movies. What if the character development was analyzed in a way that would make the characters and the stories meaningful. Then, you’d argue, you had learned something.

Maybe that one girl in the book, struggling to be a sister and live in a foreign country is like the people in this world that suffer under the minimum wage and in poverty. Maybe, that young boy in the movie struggling with transphobia was a reminder that not only adults and teenagers are confused about identity and the unfairness of gender roles in our society. Maybe the movie and the book both related in how mess up and biased our society is. Either way, you think to yourself, maybe you can interpret their situations to make your actions more conscious and thought out.

By the time you’ve thought about all the different messages and which you should keep, you have passed at least an hour – which makes it seem almost more productive. You have exhausted your thoughts, and maybe letting go with a bike ride wouldn’t hurt. Indeed, it doesn’t. Even better, it starts to pour rain when you’re on your way home. Laughing, you ignore the fact that you’re soaked to the core. You ride the neighbourhood in the rain, enjoying the freedom given by the sudden rain, and by extension the bike ride itself. You chuckle to yourself as you enter the house, realizing with a smile that you have much to clean up given the pool of water forming at your feet.

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